Правительсво Австралии с премьершей *Julia Gillard решило раздобыть немного денег для покрытия недостатка в бюджете и объявило общенациональную лотерею. все население купило лотерейные билеты. В день розыгрыша все собрались на огромной лужайке и жюри обявляет выигрывшего 3 приз: *"3 приз - Круиз вокруг мира на лайнере", победитель очень рад. Жюри объявляет 2 приз: " 2 приз - яблочный пирог", победитель недоволен!!! Он кричит что 2 приз должен быть лучше 3, жюри объясняет: "это пирог оспеченный Премьершей *Julia Gillard". мужик кричит: "е..ть я хотел *Julia Gillard". Жюри: " тебе нельзя так как ке это 1 приз"

"Священник: "мужик ты в АВСТРАЛИИ!!!! это местный звонок", * * * *Евгений, 100%(Y) (Y) (Y)

ответила другу Евгений Киселев
Евгений ..а на английском нет ? я бы мужу показала ..а то ,боюсь мой перевод он не поймёт ? особенно про второй приз..:-D

Для садящихся в аеропорту Внуково... Хулиганы ослепляют лазерным лучем пилотов на посадке..Етих самых хулиганов не возможно вычислить.*-) ;-)

Eto ochevidno mezhdunarodnaya "razvlekalka". U nas v Sydnee v proshlom mesyatse

Australian government headed by J. Gillard is trying to raise some money to cover a hole in a budget by organizing huge national lottery. The draw is announced on the lawn of government house. "3rd prize - is a round the world trip on a cruise ship!" -crowd goes wild,happy winner is in tears. " 2nd prize - is an ... Apple pie!" -the crowd is slightly muted, the winner is surprised and annoyed "What the hell? Apple pie?!". The announcer: "Sir, you don't understand,this pie is baked by Julia Gillard HERSELF". The winner: " This is bullshit! F..CK Julia Gillard !"The announcer: "Sorry,mate,you can't - this IS A FIRST PRIZE"

лилия слышала звон да не знает где он
домодедово и шереметьево а также аэропорты ростова на дону томса и новосибирска 30 случаев ослепления лазерной указкой за прошедший год
в швейцарии в связи с сотнями подобных случаев лазерные указки запретили продавать еще в прошлом году

<IMG height=241 alt="it is bloody dry in victoria" src="***********.amazingaustralia.com.au/animals/pictures/koala-drinking-s.jpg" width=300>

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below...
GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you gonna fly somewhere?"
BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: "You're next."

A Sydney blonde was so depressed that she decided to endher life by throwing herself from the Harbour Bridge.
She went to the bridge and was about to leap into the water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the bridge, crying.
He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food everyday."
Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy.
The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning.
That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat.
From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.
Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain. "What are you doing here?" the captain asked.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors, who's stowed me away" she explained. "I get food and free passage to Europe, and he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," the captain replied "this is the bloody Manly Ferry".