У гомосексуалиста есть множество подружек чтобы ходить по магазинам, а затем в ресторан, заканчивающийся 5-ю Cosmopolitans.
У лесбиянки нет ни одной подружки. По тем же причинам.

didn't want to be the only Sakhno not participating....
A gay man's idea of grooming includes a manicure, a pedicure, an eye brow wax, highlights, eye cream, a mask, and hair product
A lesbian's idea of grooming includes...a comb

Чем отличаются лесбиянки от гомосексуалистов?
-Я не всегда могу их различить...

Голосуем. Оля
men have FABULOUS window treatments! lesbians have raggedy carpet that matches standard army issue curtain

Итак, победила (F) (F) (F)ОЛЬГА САХНО! (F) (F) (F)

Чем отличаются лесбиянки от гомосексуалистов?
men have FABULOUS window treatments! lesbians have raggedy carpet that matches standard army issue curtain

How many teachers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Answer: 25.
10 to have a union meeting and complain how light bulbs always go out.
10 to bitch and complain to United Federation of Teacher as to how Dept of Education just doesn't care
5 to stand around and complain that they do not get paid enough in New York City to change light bulbs (or to teach)
In the end of the day, the light bulb will still be out.

In Russia: Zero, cleaning lady named Klava will screw in the light bulb at her own house.

In US:
Depends on what kind of teacher is doing the work:
5 Computer Teachers: Two to read instuctions on light bulb changing, two more to change the light bulb, and one to figure out how to operate the light switch.
4 Geometry Teachers: One to change it and three to prove it can really be done.
2 Health Teachers: One to change the light bulb and one to stretch a condom over it.
26 English Teachers: One for every racial/ethnic/religious group in the school.
2 Social Studies Teachers: One to change the light bulb and one to form the students into small groups to make projects on the history of light bulbs.
2 Algebra Teachers: One to figure out the hardest possible way to change the light bulb and one to assign homework on light bulb changing.
2 Principals: One to change it and one to organize a school-wide assembly dealing with how different cultures and races change light bulbs.
3 Vice Principals: One to change it and two to check if the light bulb is gang-related.

Disclamer: The previous post was based on the email that I got a while back, so it might not qualify for the contest but I just wanted to share it, since I thought those were funny.

99% of american teachers don't know how to change a lightbulb, even if they teach you how to do it . But if you really have a crank on a teachers changing a lightbulb, you better call ONE russian electrician- there is a 75% of chance possibility that he was a university professor before immigration