Победил *(*) (*) (*)СЛАВИК САЖКО! (*) (*) (*)



Чем отличается Обама от Осамы?

1. Осаму Белый Дом хотел заполучить и не заполучил, а Обаму не хотел и получил.
2. Оба целились по Белому Дому но только Обама попал.
3. Они поддерживают разные террористические организации.

Все берут и я хочу ... запросить у правительства bailout money. Помогите придумать причину.

Все берут и я хочу ... запросить у правительства bailout money. Помогите придумать причину.
I need a bailout. My ...k is too big to fall. Should I demonstrate? (H)

Reason for Slavik's request to get the money:
Please help, I need the money to enroll in the virtual witness protection program. Frolov is threatening me with something big that would not fall! I am frearing the worst. Please send the money ASAP!

Slavik's reason (business statement):
Just like Joe the plumber I started out with nothing. I first started working for Friendster. I then decided to work as a consultant and had contracts with Classmates and Facebook. But I had a dream that I would stop working these long hours and would finally have my own business.
After months of considerations I chose to partner with odnoklassniki, an off-shore web-based company which provided me with the infrastructure needed to open up my own shop called "Russian America". I am a proud owner of a very successful communications business which provides services to people world wide. I have two employees working for me: Oleg and Ol'ga, and given the opportunity I would like to expand my business thurther.
In the future I'd like to start selling merchandise such as t-shirts, baseball caps, mugs, etc. I believe t-shirts with the wording "Team Frolov" and "Team Shtalman" would be a great hit among my customers.

I am also working on the proposal to Odnoklassniki on how they can collect the money from their North American customer base. The plan is brilliant; they can send the money to me! I would process all the money orders, checks, PayPal payments, credit and debit withdrawals for the fee of 25% of all the transactions.
My other project is to help raise the awareness and money for the campaign of Roman Pyatezkij. He is running for President in 2012, and if he wins he promised me a cozy position in his Cabinet.
I am applying for the grant because lets face it my business has a much better chance to survive than any of the 3 automakers. I am not responsible for outdated car designs or for the mortgage loans which were extended to people who simply could not pay for them. I just need a little extra help in TAKING OVER THE WORLD (Y) :-D Thank you!

2. Unfortunately, the sudden overhead of maintaining the website, paying PayPal, and frequent business trips to Bangkok for research, have caused me to increase the price of my great selling product to a $1.15 for a dollar which is only a modest increase, given today's state of economy. However, the boneheaded masses have been scared off the market by luxurious offers of my competitors: supermarkets, real estate sellers, Japanese car makers, etc. Please help me keep my American business where it belongs, in America. My product has been selling great in the past, and I think that my modest request of only $ 100 billion will help me go back to the prices of late 90's.

1. Надю не переплюнуть, но как говорил один мой знакомый пытаясь *записывать видео кассету на видео player, "-Но попробовать же можно?"
Dear Congress, my business "Sell money for less" has experienced sudden downturn in business. First it was a thriving business, Venture Capitalists have gladly fronted me money. I explained to them that at first it would be a money losing proposition, since I will be selling a dollar for 85 cents, but it's only 15 % of losses while the demand for my product will be great, then, when the business expanded I could trim my losses to 10%, while raising the price of my product to 90 cents for a dollar.

Пока меня не обвинили в плагиате. Идея продажи денег по дешевке была предложена одним прфессором во времена Интернет бума.

Ну Олег и Надя вы даете ... Ваши фамилии не Бендер случайно?
Мой план по сравнению с вашими отдыхает. Но все-равно расскажу:
1. Открыть банк - "1st National Russian America Loan & Savings"
2. Выдать кредиты на дом всем друзьям и знакомым
3. На следующий месяц отправить всех в foreclosure
4. Затребовать bailout money
5. Выкупить дома
6. Переименовать банк в "1st Nationalized Russian America Loan & Savings"
Система проверенная, у некоторых иншуринсных компаний получилось