лилия слышала звон да не знает где он
домодедово и шереметьево а также аэропорты ростова на дону томса и новосибирска 30 случаев ослепления лазерной указкой за прошедший год
в швейцарии в связи с сотнями подобных случаев лазерные указки запретили продавать еще в прошлом году

<IMG height=241 alt="it is bloody dry in victoria" src="***********.amazingaustralia.com.au/animals/pictures/koala-drinking-s.jpg" width=300>

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below...
GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you gonna fly somewhere?"
BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: "You're next."

A Sydney blonde was so depressed that she decided to endher life by throwing herself from the Harbour Bridge.
She went to the bridge and was about to leap into the water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the bridge, crying.
He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food everyday."
Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy.
The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning.
That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat.
From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.
Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain. "What are you doing here?" the captain asked.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors, who's stowed me away" she explained. "I get food and free passage to Europe, and he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," the captain replied "this is the bloody Manly Ferry".

Как узнать кто тебя больше любит твоя жена или твоя собака? Очень просто!!!!! Засунь обеих в багажник твоей машины и выпусти их оттуда через 2 часа. Кто из них будет тебе больше рад?

Водитель Премьерши Квинсленда Анны Блай вез ее в маленький городок на конференцию. По дороге он сбил старую корову. Анна говорит: "нехорошо как то, вон там ферма , это наверное их корова, пойди извинись, а я пока посижу в машине, поразмыслю каким бы еще налогом обложить насление родного штата." водитель
ушел и через 2 часа вернулся вдрызг пьяный.
Анна - ну что такое, почему так долго и почему пьян?
Видила - я им сказхал что я твой водитель и что я убил старую корову.
Они так обрадовались что начали праздновать и поить меня благодарая за содеянное.

Австрал увидел объявление в газете о продаже энциклопедии Британика 26 томов по очень дешевой цене потому что хозяину она больше не нужна. Он позвонил давшему объявление и спросил почему не нужна энциклопедия? тот говорит: "я недавно женился
на руссксой, она знает все!!!!

A crusty old bikie was out on a long ride through the outback.
He pulls up to a pub in the middle of nowhere, parks his bike and walks inside. As he passes through the doors, he sees a sign hanging over the bar:
COLD BEER: $2.00
MEAT PIE: $2.10
SAUSAGE ROLL: $2.00
HAMBURGER: $2.25
CHEESEBURGER: $2.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH : $3.50
HAND JOB: $50.00
The old bikie walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive sheila who is serving beers to a couple of sun-wrinkled old farmers.
She glides down behind the bar to the old biker.
"Yes?" she inquires with a wide, knowing smile, "may I help you?"
The old bikie leans over the bar, "I was wondering young lady," he whispers, "are you the only one around here who gives the hand jobs?"
She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs "Why yes, sure I am, I do everything around here".
The old bikie leans closer and into her left ear whispers softly, "Well, go and wash your hands real bloody good then, cause I want a cheeseburger".

Пталаогоанатом и гинеколог выходят из клиники после работы
паталогоанатом - Посмотри!!! вокруг люди!!! ЖИВЫЕ!!!!
гинеколог - и лица, лица!!!!!

There once was a bloke who had worked hard all his life, never went to the pub and had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his cash.
Just before he died, he said to his wife,"When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."
And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.
Well, he died.
He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a moment!"
She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.
So her friend said, "Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband."
The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word.
I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him."
"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?"
"I sure did," said the wife.
"I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a cheque....