а кстати насчёт бабушек... Ведь если детеи имеют когда уже сами родители в возрасте, то наверно о бабушках и дедушках речь совсем не идет. *А ведь сколько бабушки и дедушки вкладывают во внуков! *Тоже не маловажно.

А папе?
А папе 54 . Я себя не считаю обрюзгшим стариком но и сыну не 8 . А большинство моих одногодок в России или спились или померли или внуков нянчат. Да и здесь картина разная.Есть друзья кто сдуру в 50 нарожал себе "игрушек".Им свою молодость приспичело продлить.Эгоизм высшей степени.Или ходит эдакая молодящаяся сорокапятка с пузом , в молодость играется . ягодку изображает. А потом начинается -"наши дети нас не понимают" А как они поймут если мамаша твист танцует и компьютеру подойти боится . А утро с таблетки валидола начинает.

__________________
Back on track

Резюме.
Мы обзаводимся детьми либо по своей прихоти , либо по своей дурости . Но в каком возрасте мы наконец начинаем предвидеть последствия своих действий ?

__________________
Back on track

А ведь сколько бабушки и дедушки вкладывают во внуков! Тоже не маловажно. Это прекрасно когда бабушки-дедушки участвуют в воспитании внуков. Но и рассчитывать на это нельзя. У многих бабушки и дедушки живут в других городах, штатах, странах.

__________________
Альбом "РИГА"

А папе 54 . Я себя не считаю обрюзгшим стариком но и сыну не 8 .---------------------------------------------------------------------------
weren't you the same age as your parents when your son was 8?
Им свою молодость приспичело продлить.
---------------------------------------------------------------
I think they're just acting as young as they feel.
А потом начинается -"наши дети нас не понимают"
---------------------------------------------------------------------
isn't that a common complaint regardless of the parents' age?

I agree that parents understand their kids when and IF they want to understand their kids. It has nothing to do with age. It has to do with flexibility, personality, desire to learn and understand another generation. If you are "stuck" in your perceptions, you are old whether you are 23, 35, or 55. There are pros and cons of having kids while young and while older. When you are young - 18-24 and have a child, your child needs to grow while you are trying to establish yorself and not prioritizing child-rearing as much as when you are , say, 38. But the benefits are - being there for them for, hopefully, longer time, helping with grandkids, etc. When you have a kid after 35 - the major "con" is, of course, accumulating risk of genetic and other problems, but the pro - is more stability, prioritizing that child in a more mature way.

__________________
Happy New Year to all! Virtual hugs!

But I do agree that having kids after 55 or so might be pretty selfish - you will be in your seventies when the kid is graduating from high school! But - who are we to judge? - if the kid is happy - that all that matters.

__________________
Happy New Year to all! Virtual hugs!

"weren't you the same age as your parents when your son was 8?"You are absolutely right . I was . Though my wife is 7 years younger than me. You are very good in math. I am not making a good example of myself . It was tough decision for both of us and not a good timing as well . My parents are long gone and our son does not know what grand parents are about. But at least I still can do something for him.

__________________
Back on track

Having babies in 50s and up is selfish and probably unwise, although I don't want to judge. But adopting an older kid/kids in that age would be not a bad idea. If a 50+ y.o. couple adopts a 10-12 y.o., they would really be giving that kid a chance, because younger parents usually want to adopt a baby or a toddler.

__________________
Альбом "РИГА"

I never met my maternal grandmother (she died before I was born, and not of old age), only met my grandfather once... My other set of grandparents weren't very "grandparently"... and since they remained in the USSR when we immigrated to the US, I can't really say that I got to know them that well either. As I said earlier - no one gets to have everything.